Learn to Blow your own Horn

“𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔, 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒖𝒊𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒐𝒃𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏. 𝑻𝒐𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆.”- 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒂 𝑺𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒐𝒓.

“𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔. 𝑵𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒇 𝒖𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒎 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔.”

- 𝑱𝒂𝒏𝒆 𝑨𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏.

Being timid is not becoming of you. Always in the background. Working harder than anyone else that you know. Putting in the time and effort and getting minimal recognition. When the promotions come, you are always left behind. You train them and they become your boss. You are tired, and you are disheartened. It is becoming more and more difficult to wake up in the morning and go to work.

You have worked hard on your marriage, taken disappointment and tragedy and turned them into wins and successes. You have gone out of your way to please the in-laws. Bought them things they needed, turned their life around. Refurbished and renovated old houses, helped whenever needed. But you are still the bad one. The one who is pushy, and who is sitting on their son.

You have done all you can for your live-in boyfriend. You are not even married to him. He lost his job and you continued with the relationship, supporting both of you and the children. You have helped by giving him money to start a business. The business flopped, nothing to show of it. The next project also met with the same fate. You are constantly fighting with him over small things and you are being accused of being bossy, a failure, and not a good wife, parent, provider, etc. You are confused, frustrated, and alone.

Sometimes you have to blow your own horn. If you have been waiting for others to praise you, to recognize how much you have done for them and continue doing. If you are hoping that one day they will come to you and say “thank you”, you may be disappointed. Save yourself and start blowing your own horn.

One of my bosses told me this, and I thought she was joking. When I started blowing my own horn, the promotions started coming. If I did something at work worth mentioning, I made sure to tell anyone ready to listen, or just about mention it to everyone. During the year, I wrote down in a diary things I achieved daily. On my evaluation form at the end of the year, I took my time to let my bosses know. I had reference – my diary, complete with dates. I needed extra space to tell them how good an employee that I was.

On the home front much earlier on, my sister had told me to not bother trying to please the in-laws as they had already decided I was not worth their son. Regardless of what I did, the tag remained. I shifted my focus and did what was best for me.

My advice is this, if you are not getting recognition in the things that you are doing, then learn to blow your own horn, sing your praises, lift yourself up. You are doing great, you are working hard at being the best that you can be, helping others, and just being a good human.

Learn to blow your own horn, as no one will do that for you. Unfortunately, we wait for people to die for us to tell them how much they meant to us.

“𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒅𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒂 𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒕.”

- 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝑨𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒎.

. “𝑳𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒛𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑯𝒂𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒇 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕.”

- 𝑱𝒐𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏 𝑾𝒐𝒍𝒇𝒈𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑽𝒐𝒏 𝑮𝒐𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆.