failure

“I FAILED”

"𝑫𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒋𝒖𝒅𝒈𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔, 𝒋𝒖𝒅𝒈𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏”. – 𝑵𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝑴𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒂

This is how I felt for the longest time after the end of my first marriage, and years after that. I felt like a total failure. I could not keep a man. A few years after our marriage my husband started having affairs. It was hard. I was crushed. I became even more unhappy than I already was. She was beautiful. I was ugly (my interpretation). I was not a good wife. Someone took my husband. I didn’t know what to do. At that time, I never even thought about leaving. I was too young. I became angry. I had failed.

It reinforced my childhood belief that I was ugly. Growing up I was tall, much taller than my agemates, and lanky. My ears were big, and my hair was always cut short. I was teased about my big ears “ite otegore”. I grew up believing I was ugly.

With infidelity, my insecurities came back. I was not good enough. I had failed. Wrong!! Wrong!! Wrong!!

These thoughts are false now, and they were false then. I know better now. Just because it did not work out does not mean that you failed. It means that you were incompatible. It means that both of you fell apart at some point in your relationship and what attracted both of you to each other was no longer able to keep you together as a couple. We hadn’t even taken time to know each other well before our marriage.

If it is not a failure, then what it is.

It is an opportunity. It is a choice. It may not have been your choice but now it is your choice. Use it as an opportunity for self-discovery, and self-love. It is an opportunity to fall in love again with yourself first, then with someone else.

It is an opportunity for a makeover, to repackage yourself as a new person with new and better desires, different goals in life, and different priorities. It is an opportunity to be independent and chart a new path for yourself. It is an opportunity to:

Have a new purpose in life

Go back to school

Start that income generating project that you have been thinking about

Take that trip that was impossible

Taking care of your money and start saving

Start a new life with new friends, new neighbors, new social circle.

Build a new community of great friendship.

God has given you an opportunity for a do-over, take it. You have not failed. FAILING IS NOT TRYING AGAIN. Not getting up. Giving up is failing. Get up and keep going.

In my life’s story I have failed many times. I failed the first time I got pregnant while in high school. I have failed in many things after that.

As a straight A student, I failed my first two exams in nursing school, and I had to go through counseling, one more fail and I’d be dropped from the course - humbling.

I failed my first DOT examination for Medical Examiners, by one point. It hurt.

For as long as we live, we are going to fail at something. Get up and keep going. Get help as necessary. A broken relationship is just that. It did not work out.

I have made many mistakes. I have failed my children and my husband many times, and I have been forgiven many times; Therefore, it is easy for me to forgive and to understand.

That is why I want to take this coaching journey with you. I can help you Start Over, I have been there many times. LADIES, message me through messenger if you would like more information.

Every time I think of failure or success I think about Michael Jordan, one of the greatest athletes of my generation.

"𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 9,000 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓. 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 300 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔. 26 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔, 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅. 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝑰 𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒆𝒅." – 𝑴𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒆𝒍 𝑱𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒂𝒏.